The Cost of Dreams

And why you can't "have it all"

Photo by Marek Studzinski on Unsplash

In 2019, I quit my job. 

The plan was to focus on building a new business to have both time freedom and financial security to create my ideal life. 

Ideal life – that was the trendy term back then. It seemed everyone had a course or service that would help you take back your time and create the idyllic future in your mind. 

So I set to work creating that life. I calculated the number of hours in a year, broke them down by week, and figured out exactly what I should be doing and when.

I wrapped up my MBA and created a sound strategy for my new business grounded in research, data, and proven processes confident that my ideal life would be there in no time. 

But a year into the business, I realized that the thing about creating an ideal life is that there is a cost. It’s not just the financial requirements of pursuing something new (though those obviously exist), but more about the secret costs that no one can truly prepare you for. 

The truth is that when you start pursuing your dreams, you have to let go of something in the present. 

And sometimes, those things are really good and part of you doesn’t want to. 

In the case of the business, I knew that growing it would require investors, and I wasn’t quite ready to answer to someone else now that I had finally left corporate life. So I pivoted and started something that would be entirely my own, that could grow and scale without outside funding.  

I had to look at my dream life and decide if it was what I wanted, and in that case, freedom far outweighed any financial security or societal approval from being CEO of a bigger company. 

Since that pivot, I’ve been more aware of the cost of dreams. 

Sometimes the cost is easy, like creating art instead of watching TV. Or giving up alcohol to lose a few pounds. Or buying a new shirt to feel more confident every day. 

Those are all key steps in the process, but they’re not the ones that jolt you awake in the middle of the night. 

That happens when you realize the real cost of dreams lies with the things you don’t want to give up.

Sometimes it’s familiar relationships that may be holding you back. Or it might be the stability of a job that’s consuming all of your time. Or maybe it’s a part of your identity that’s limiting your growth, telling you to play small, to stay who you are, because you don’t know who else you could be. 

These are all costs, sacrifices that have to be made in pursuit of dreams. Some days it will be harder than others, and some decisions may feel impossible to make. 

In the entrepreneur community, there’s a mantra that always comes back to me in these moments. 

Sometimes you have to give up the good for the great. 

And that’s the true cost of dreams, the one that no one talks about.

Sometimes you might love your job, but you just can’t do it and pursue your creative dreams at the same time.

You might love your friends, but staying in the same place isn’t working anymore, and you need to grow. 

You might have a beautiful life that you love and is considered good in most ways, but there’s still part of you longing to make a larger impact, to test yourself in a new way, to do something else. 

In every case, you’re giving up something good in the hopes of something great. 

And until you hit that “great” mark, it’s easy to focus on the cost of the dream and everything you will lose. 

The biggest thing you will lose is the current you.

The argument to “have it all” is flawed–we can never have it all because we can’t be all of the versions of ourselves at once. You can’t have the rootless freedom of a single, childless twenty-year-old while reaping the benefits of your seasoned and financially secure forty-year-old self. 

You can’t be nomadic and see the world and also spend every night with your best friends at your favorite bar down the street. 

You can’t have the stability of both a familiar job and a dream life without first taking the risk to go get that life. 

So the real cost of dreams isn’t financial but a version of ourselves. 

You can always plan out your income and expenses, but you’ll never be able to plan how and when you’ll change. 

You may lose an identity you really loved, but you can’t step into the new one until you release the old. 

So in the pursuit of dreams, the question shifts from “What am I willing to do to achieve this?” to “How am I willing to change to make this happen?” 

The second one is much scarier but even more worth it. 

So tell me, what is the true cost of your dreams?